Episode 23 Transcript

Episode 23: Empowering yourself by owning all you already are (Part 1)

Arivee: Hi I'm Arivee Vargas and I believe we're all so powerful beyond our wildest imaginations. We have the ability to overcome the fears, self-doubt, negative beliefs and all the other road blocks that hold us back from having the life and career we really want and deserve.

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That's why I created the Humble Rising podcast. I want to help you get clear on what a joyful and fulfilling life and career looks like for you and help you go after it with all you have. Each week we'll talk to bad ass inspirational woman of color, sharing their journeys. Think of them as your mentors will dig into their successes, failures, challenges, the different shifts and pivots in their careers and personal lives, and so much more. Leave with actionable strategies for making your own shifts in your life that gets you to where you want to go and help you become who you most want to be. Be inspired, get motivated, and get ready to rise. This is the Humble Rising podcast.

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Welcome back to the Humble Rising podcast. This month we're talking all things self-worth, empowerment and confidence. And who better to speak on self-confidence other than empowerment and self-worthiness coach Dina Scippa. Dina holds a bachelor's degree in international Relations and Economics and a Masters in Gender and Development. She's a certified coach and has over 17 years of experience in International Development. Most recently, Dina acted as a gender and social inclusion advisor and traveled to over 30 countries, advising projects on how to treat women and girls more equitably. Dina has incorporated her expertise in the idea of inclusivity through her publications that focus on issues related to women leadership, gender roles and cultural norms and barriers to participation and advancement. Building on my conversation with Vanessa, Dina and I unpack what worthiness enoughness and empowerment really means in today's episode. We talk about our experiences as women of color. And how that has impacted our ability and even our inability to feel as though we are enough, we also focus on positive reinforcement, and we talk about the importance of giving yourself permission and time to do things for yourself while acknowledging your accomplishments. With that, let's get started on our journey toward self-empowerment, self-worth and confidence with Dina.

Dina, thank you so much for joining me on the podcast todasy.

Dina: Arivee I’m so excited to be here.

Arivee: I'm so excited for our conversation. I know. Oh yes, absolutely. You. I know you're gonna have so much wisdom to drop. I'm really looking forward to everyone hearing from you and all of that was done. So to kick us off why don't we start with you sharing a little bit about your background and how you came to become an empowerment coach.

Dina: So it's so interesting cause I've been thinking a lot about my path to becoming an empowerment coach. And in truth, I have stepped into being an empowerment coach, the founder of my coaching practice, enough labs in 2020, 3 months before the pandemic. But I would have to say that my path to coaching started well before that. I actually have spent the last 20 years in International Development. I've had the pleasure of being able to travel to over 30 countries around the world where I have held stories from women and girls all across the globe, and they've talked to me about their struggles with how they see themselves, where they were able to envision doing more than what they were doing. And the work that I did as a gender advisor and a woman empowerment specialist really looked at how can projects that were funded by US foreign assistance do a better job of engaging women, do a better job of responding to their needs. And I think that that's really a huge ask and a really challenging one at that because of the systems that women find themselves in around the world when it comes to their access to education, when it comes to the norms that they're supposed to uphold. And so when I call myself an empowerment specialist. It's not just because one day I decided to become one. It's because I've been studying women empowerment from grad school up until, you know, over the past 20 years and and this is a lifelong journey of unpacking, what empowerment really means. And it's just opposed around my own journey of. Looking at how do I feel comfortable using my voice? How do I stand in my truth and one of the best forms of training that I feel like led me to this journey of becoming an environment coach is something that I often times tell my clients and then when I speak to is that I think women so often overlook the opportunity to give themselves permission and one of the times that I gave myself permission to dream was actually when I created the position of a gender advisor at an organization and that was unheard of. And so, if I could do it in a setting that, you know I was comfortable in who was to say that I couldn't give myself permission to dream bigger and create my own organization and become a coach. And that's really where, you know, my journey is today. It's it's still evolving. I'm still becoming and the journey to helping other women see the power that lies within them is unfortunately a journey that takes a while and I say unfortunately, because what would have been possible in so many of our lives if we were able to give ourselves permission to do the things that we wanted to do earlier? (Arivee: Yeah) rather talk ourselves out of it. So, empowerment to me means a lot of things. And when I, when I think about being an empowerment coach, my role is not to empower others. My role is to help facilitate a conversation for a woman to explore that she has everything within herself to go after what she wants, and the the work all happens within her.

Arivee: So, if you could walk us through Dina when we think of self-empowerment. How would you define that?

Dina: Feeling like you have something to free yourself from is, I think the first step. It's acknowledging that something in your life is not working. Something is causing you pain. Something is making you feel stuck. That could be a myriad of things, right. And I think being able to empower yourself comes from a desire to shift, a desire to change. Whatever is happening that is feeling like it is holding you back, that it is physically or metaphorically, keeping you stuck. And I think being able to tap into the power that you have within to recognize what isn't working, what's at stake if I continue to stay in this place? And I think so often we're looking for things outside of ourselves to prove that we can get out of a situation or looking for resources or people, or the blueprint like how do I get out of this? And we so often don't wanna look within ourselves and do do that internal reflection that I actually have the power within to change this situation. I'm not a victim of circumstance. That's a really broad answer because I think empowering yourself in different scenarios in context will look very different. But that's a big thing. I say is that I don't think there's a prescription. I don't think there's a how to guide. I think it looks different for every single person.

Arivee: And sometimes I wish there was a guy for a lot of things in life would be really nice. I I would be the first to get that.

Dina: Why is it that women feel like there isn't that power within them and they have to go searching for it?

Arivee: With a woman that I speak to, it's almost as if they don't, they don't realize. What's there? What's inside? (Dina: Right.)  A lot of people in general haven't been able. They feel like they haven't been able, although I would say that it's a choice, but they haven't been able to take their opportunity to do the internal work you're talking about to even not even internal work. To pause and reflect and say where am I at? How do I feel? What am I suppressing? There's so much we suppress Dina. So much we compartmentalize. Especially like high achieving women. So much we say we're gonna suck it up and do it. Well this is what I have to do. Instead of being like. But is this what I want? But, Do I have to? This is what I want. Taking a moment to reflect. Then look at yourself as really freaking hard 'cause we don't wanna deal with the freaking answers.

Dina: So if we're talking about high achieving women, for example, and I was just talking to a friend about this just recently where we have been on a path where we are chasing certain things where we have made things happen. And we're going at a speed in which is so fast that we don't even take the time to question, take stock, and we definitely don't have time to celebrate.

Arivee: Correct. Correct. I'm raising my hand because that was me. In fact, my coach, I have a I have a coach. You know earth shattering news. I actually have a coach and she asked me this week what's a win that you wanna celebrate. And I was like, ah, I don't know. And she's like, come on. I'm like, I mean, I know I have some, but it's even hard to honor yourself in that way cause, you're like, well, I'm supposed to do these things. That's really hard. And you also feel when I was saying it, I was like, is this really a celebration because you feel like it's what you're supposed to do every week.

Dina: And the supposed to's in the shoulds, I think, are what chip away at women tapping into the power that they actually hold. Because we don't even take a minute to to step back and recognize how freaking powerful we are in the things that we do on a day to day basis.

Arivee: No, I I absolutely agree with that.

Dina: And then when the real stuff is shaking you. It's it's not an easy process. It's not a ten-step guide to get there. But I think if women really tapped into how powerful we are at an earlier age, this world would look very different.

Arivee: Dina how do we do that? I know, yeah. I'm. I'm all up into the how’s here. I'm all for the hows.

Dina: Everyone wants to know the hows. I mean. And I started my story, you know, with my background in International Development as a Gender Equality Specialist. Because I think this is far deeper than how do we do it. As women, I mean we're already holding up the world, right? So now we have to figure out how to how to break these chains. I think it's so much bigger than that. And yes, it is partly our responsibility to not get caught up in the trappings of what the world is telling us, we can't be, or that we shouldn't be. We should be content with this and not ask for more. Oh, you're too much here. Stop asking for this. So yes, as a collective and as individuals. We have a responsibility to question, to push that back. I mean Simone Biles, I've been talking about this, with everyone and anyone of my conversations. When you get to stand up for yourself, how how much in the past week has Simone Biles given so many women permission just to explore the power of saying no, the power of standing up for you? No, I'm not OK with that.

Arivee: And. And you know what she said was? I realized I wasn't in addition to the, you know, she had the twistys and she got lost in the air, which is dangerous physically for gymnasts, right? Cause what they're doing is crazy, hard and difficult, but she was saying that I wasn't having fun anymore. I do this for me. I want to do this for me. And what I realized was I was doing it for everyone else but me, (Dina: yeah.) And then I knew that it wasn't right to do that. And and by the way, Simone the greatest of all time. She don't she don't have to do that. She does not have to go out there again. OK. But she was gonna go there, you know she's gonna say she says it's about her her her all of the moves and all of them what whatever she performs that is named after her. People will ask her like, why do you do that if you don't have to, you can win without doing these really difficult things. And she says, because I can. Because she wanted to. But when it became what everybody else and the pressure she said. No, thank you. I have to take care of myself. Right. And we talked about this a lot Dina and know you talk to your clients about this too is it's great when you're doing something, and it also pleases someone else. It's when it's at the expense of you. (Dina: Yeah.) That I think that's a line and people need to figure out what that line is for them. For her. That was her line.

Dina: And I think the more that we as individuals continue to ask ourselves those questions and actually be true to that answer that only we know, yeah, that's when things start to shift in the world. And and I think it's in the smallest of ways and in the largest of ripple effects that you get to see it. But I don't think it's a how to guide in every single person takes this path. No, we'll get there, but it's getting still long enough to answer. Like Simone Biles did. I mean, asking like what really counts for me? What matters for me? And that's all that matters. What do I want to do? What feels good for me? But what feels like it lights my soul on fire. That's where your power lies. In the answer to that question.

Arivee: And what doesn't light your soul on fire. Right? What, I what I don't want. What I don't like. And I find that a lot of the resistance that comes from being still and getting quiet with yourself is you don't wanna like be alone with yourself. You don't wanna deal with the truth. Like you said. You. Of what? Of what those answers are. Because then the truth is it nags at you. It starts like it's like a mosquito. It'll keep at you until you really pay attention. Then it gets louder and they're like more mosquitoes. It gets like that.

Dina: Yeah, it's uncomfortable.

Arivee: Which is again, we don't like being uncomfortable (Dina: We don’t like the uncomfortable.) So Dina you know, I wanted to talk to you about this. It's not an idea, but this feeling, like, you're enough feeling like you are worthy. I would love for you to walk the listeners really through when you say you are enough, when you say you are worthy, what? What do we mean by that?

Dina: Yeah, I believe this has been my life's work before I even have language for it, and I think just in the last couple of years I was fascinated by this affirmation of I am enough, so much so that I actually got it tattooed on my wrist as a constant reminder because the experience of so many of us, but in particular you know how I work specifically with women and girls, I think that so many of us receive this message on a subconscious level of how not enough we are and when we are comparing ourselves growing up. In saying that, we are not smart enough in comparison to others that were looking up to that were not attractive enough that we're not talented enough that we're not disciplined enough. If you fill your head for a long enough time that you are not enough of all of these things, what it continues to shape the lens in which you see yourself is as not enough, and when you take that on as part of your identity that you're just not enough. You spend your life trying to find the ways to pour back into you that make you feel enough, which is the capitalist systems dream. They want you to keep filling your. Your. You know online the basket with all of the things that make you feel more enough with searching for all of these external elements of validation that you tell yourself that make you more enough, the number of women I've spoken to that have three, 4, 5 advanced degrees. In order to feel competitive enough, smart enough to apply for certain jobs when you feel like you're coming up short, you're doing everything possible to feel better. And I'll I'll I'll speak personally. There was a long time where my image and how I presented to the world was one of the most important things for me, and so I was constantly at the stores, getting newest fashions and making sure everything looked on point because I wanted to present this image that I was together, that I I looked the part. Because inside I had such crippling self-doubt of who I was and what I brought to the table, and so that my journey of feeling that way. And that's one way that I filled that void comes from a pattern the history of life that I just felt like I wasn't enough. When I looked around. And you know about this with our, with our common experience where we went to high school, the constant messaging received that we weren't, that I wasn't enough in comparison to everyone I was looking at and then going to college and then finding and collecting more evidence where I wasn't enough. When I looked around to my colleagues and to my friends, it shows up in so many different ways and I think if you don't tap into how this is not serving you, it will continue to play in the background and tear you down. I think this conversation around Enoughness and worthiness are completely connected. But also in my mind kind of separate, because I think the journey to Enoughness is, first of all, I think it's a lifelong journey. (Arivee: Yes) always start. You always realize that like the more ways that you are enough, we talk about this with motherhood, right as you. Go through different life transitions your life experiences are are are calling you forward to step forward in a different way so you can answer that call and and be open to what that experience is gonna be or you can tear yourself down and say that you're not enough. The number of moms I speak to see, I'm just not doing it good enough job. I'm not present enough. I'm not doing this enough. Well, what are you doing? Is incredible. So, I think the journey to enough this is such an inside job and it also because of our society in the way that women are taught to see themselves, is a lifelong process of unlearning that unlearning at like a Cellular level, because this is ingrained in US and so the connection I think, to word leanness is are you worthy of and then you can complete that question on so many levels. Are you worthy enough to believe that you are enough? Are you worthy of the relationship that you desire? Are you worthy of friends who have your back? The worthiness is also an inside job, but it manifests in the things that we attract and what you think about yourself, whether you think you're enough in all forms of your life is going to determine how you equate your worthiness to what you attract.

Arivee: Dina you know, I was thinking about this conversation that we're having now the other day. And I was thinking about my husband, who when I say things like, you know, I am worthy, and I am enough. He's like, what? Why do you do you wait? What? He literally doesn't get it 'cause he. He has never questioned his worthiness or his enoughness. He just doesn't. I wonder, because for me, this is. I like you said, this is a lifelong journey for me too, and for my clients. Not all of them, but some of them. Right. I'm wondering what? What makes it so that some people this isn't like a thing for them.

Dina: Well, first of all, I mean, you know, having worked in the gender equity Space I I absolutely think that the experience of women versus the experience of men when we have the experience, and we recognize that we are struggling with our own enoughness. It is way more pronounced for women, (Arivee: yes.) And I'm not negating that. It doesn't happen for men. It absolutely does. I think the way that girls are conditioned at a young age to be great at everything, but not too great. (Arivee: Yes) You excel at everything. Don't be a showoff. Of girls confidence peaks at age 9. There's studies that that point to this. So, in a space in time where developmentally you are trying to make sense of your world, you're trying to make sense of your identity. And what it means to belong, and you're receiving all of these messages to please the people around you to make sure that you're not too much. There's all of these conflicting messages. It sets off this experience that can only be described as anxiety inducing. So, it sets up in motion this experience of of just. A ton of self-doubt, and it's no disrespect to the to to parents out there, but if you are raised in a family setting where they may not have language for this and you may not have been reinforced with a belief of how worthy you. Are just because of who you are. And if you're not surrounded by people, family or community that is celebrating you for everything that you are just because society is gonna be chipping away at that every single day. And it requires such tough mental strength and a resilient mindset to counteract that. And I just think that the messages that women receive at a young age is what propels this question of, well, I wanna believe that I'm enough. I wanna believe that I'm worthy. But I've got all this other evidence that says that I'm not. Whereas men, there's studies that show that men think about a job application. You, you know, the study that a man will apply to a job if he has like 40 to 50% of the qualifications, but a woman will not even consider putting her application in if it's not 100%. What does that tell you about? How? Like just from a worthiness conversation, a man might say I'm totally worthy of that job. Just give me the interview. I'll prove it. Whereas a woman is saying no. I have to have everything prepared before I even consider selling myself. And there's no way that I could do the job well. Why? So we don't, I don't think men and women are having the same conversation internally around giving themselves permission to go after things that might feel so out of reach, which starts at a very early age.

Arivee: And I'm wondering, Dina, how do we build confidence? How do we do that?

Dina: I love your how questions. Because because this is exactly what clients ask, well, how do I do that? (Dina: No, I know.) How do. How do I? I need. I'm. I know. I'm not confident. I know. I doubt myself. I know that I feel like a fraud at work. How do I how do I fix this?

Dina: I have an answer. But it's it's definitely not. I don't think one that's a popular opinion. I think again, when you go back to the statistic in the studies that suggest that grow a girls confidence peak at age 9, you have to ask yourself why. So how often are girls encouraged to make decisions based off of what feels good for them as opposed to what they should be doing? Right. Well, it's appropriate. So, we grow up in full blown adults who are questioning why why don't we have this confidence? My response to anyone who asks me, OK, so how do you build it? How do you get confident? I would ask them in a day how many decisions do you make? That feel like a hell yes I'm gonna do this versus how many micro decisions do you make that you question? Is it the right decision? Well, what if what if I make a mistake? What if this blows up?

Arivee: Wait, Tina. What's what's the difference between that and responsibilities? Like job responsibilities and like family responsibilities.

Dina: Well, family responsibilities. So, I think in the context of family responsibilities, there's a million decisions that you're making in a day, probably not a million, but a lot. (Arivee: Yes.) How many decisions do you make with respect to your family I’m asking you that you say this feels right because. I know it to be true. I know that it's it's right for my family versus Oh my God. What are other people gonna think? What does my family gonna think? What? What is this? There's like from from the minute you get up, how do I wanna spend my morning? What do I wanna eat for breakfast? What am I gonna wear today? To how am I gonna show up in this meeting? What am I gonna feed my kids? What are we gonna do for them for fun today? What am I gonna do for me for fun? Maybe that's just doing that. All of these examples of where you get to make decisions that you don't question if it's the right thing or wrong thing to do, but it's right because it's for you is where confidence gets to be built. So, my answer is that confidence gets to be built in the micro decisions that you make. Every single day, consistently looking at what you need

Arivee: And what does that do for us, when we, when we feel like we're making those micro decisions based on what feels right for us like what

Dina: But but and I think where women tend to feel like we're not confident. I think if we really peeled back the layers apart of it might be because we're not prioritizing anytime for doing things that make us feel really good just for us. So, I think in the context of living your life and making sure everyone else is taken care of. Because let's be honest, that's what's expected. That's what a good mom does. That's what a good partner does. What a good friend does.

Arivee: Wait Dina, can I interrupt and say to anyone listening. Please do not say that your husband babysits your children. Your husband is a partner, is there father, it’s his job just like it’s your job as a mom to take care of your children. Please do not say they babysit and then don't say oh, you have to leave early from work because you have to pick up your child from daycare. That's so amazing. Oh, you have to go to the soccer game. That's so. You're such a great dad. I want you to tell every mother that every single day when she leaves to pick up her child from daycare or school. (Dina: I agree.) Sorry, I had to get on that because I am sick and tired of hearing, babysitting and oh, what a great. Like, what about what about mothers who do that every single day? (Dina: Never called babysitting when it's a mom.) Nope, because it's, quote, UN quote her job Yep.

Dina: And think about how we're socialized to to play into those roles. That you're a bad mom if you're not taking care of your kids 100% of the time and like being the sacrificial lamb on top of it. So, another piece that chips away at your confidence is when you find yourself being overextended, doing everything for everyone else and not taking any time for yourself. And so, I'm not trying to say that this is easy. No, but where in your life could you be feeling like you can't have the experience of, like, the fullest expression of who you are because you're just not making any time for every for it? So, I think confidence is twofold and it again, I don't think it's an overnight job. I think it's something that you get to practice every single day celebrating your ability to tap into what is right for you and it doesn't matter what it. What it looks like for other people and then tapping into what it feels like to have the space to access the fullest expression of you that could be in hobbies that could be in a passion project. It could be in reading a book in silence, whatever that looks like. I think just giving yourself. It's a hell yes to you. I think that's what confidence feels like, where you're not second guessing every single part of it.

Arivee” I love that. It's a hell yes to you. Because, Dina, this is true, especially as a working mom. I I make decisions that feel right for me that I know people may criticize. I'm like. You know, my mom will say things like you need to cook for Trevor. You need to cook for Trevor, this is what we and I say. I don't have time for that. And in that, this is the thing. I love baking. But the only people that eat, you know what I what I would bake is or are my children. And I don't wanna pump them both sweeps. So, I don't bake as much, but as soon as I'll bake and then I'll share it and it's fine. But it's that feeling of well to be a good to be a good partner and to be a good mother I should actually be cooking at least three times a week, and what I realized, especially having a third child is like I actually don't enjoy cooking the way that I would because I'm not just cooking in silence. I am cooking with a child in a bouncer, two children fighting like I'm not cooking. In a way, they're like, OK, yes, I'm in my zone. I burn things all the time now to point where my husband like you lost your edge. And I'm like, I've course I did. Because you cannot take care of three children and cook at the same time. So. But but the point of that story is just just to share that for many for many. That would be and if I think of know what a mom should do, I'm thinking no, I should be giving them broccoli, salmon and white rice or brown rice every single day and that's just not something that I one I feel like I have the capacity to do, but two, it's not enjoyable for me because I'm not actually cooking with the love that I want to cook with, but you could I could think of. No, but I should. So, I'm just gonna figure it out. I was gonna do it, but I don't. It doesn't feel right to me. And even other things as a as a mom and as a working mom. I think of all the things that other people quote UN quote. Say they say we should be doing And I just or they do. And you look at them and you say, look, all the things that they can do. And so, you think to yourself and you internalize that I should be that

Dina: You internalize that. So, I should be doing that is also code for I'm not good enough.

Arivee: Yes. Yes.

Dina: And I and I know the answer to this but like. I'm gonna put it on you. Who told you that? You have to give your your kids that type of meal while you're being a working mom in order to be good.

Arivee: Oh my God. You see, you see other people doing things and think and you think you know their life, but you don't. But you but it's so.

Dina: We we if we wanna go back to power. Yeah, we give it away by saying OK, I'm looking at that person's life and they're doing a better job. So, in turn, the palms, the blueprint that we're chasing as opposed to what we feel is right for us in whatever circumstance we're in. Do you see how we give our power away by just saying I'm wrong. They're right. I have to be chasing that.

Arviee: Even though that thing. Yeah. But even though that blueprint, Dina, we don't even really know the blueprint. So logically, logically, we know that logically, we know. I don't really know that person's blueprint. And I see the image of the blueprint. I see what they want to portray. (Dina: Yeah) I see what they're doing kind of sort of not really because Instagram is highlight reels and people only share what they really want to share with you. But you see this idea.

Dina: And you think I have to be that and this image that we've been allowed access into becomes the metric or the benchmark that we are chasing, (Arivee: yes.) So, it's no wonder why women are coming to you and coming to me and saying I just don't feel confident. Of course, you don't because you haven't given yourself the space to tap into. What's important to you. You're chasing the images of what other people are choosing to share with you as what you have to chase as the road map and it takes enormous strength to get clear on this is right for my family. And I'm gonna block out the noise. It takes so much patience and work to say I'm OK with the way I'm leading my life. I don't need to compare it to other people just because it looks different, and I think as a society we're so used to just this sense of inclusion and belonging. We don't wanna be the outcast. We don't wanna be the example or the the the one lone person that's doing it different. That's that's uncomfortable to I get that. So, it's why I say it's not an easy thing to say. OK, here, do these five steps and you'll be confident your work. You're you're up against ingrained systems that are so fundamentally toxic and like. Based in the patriarchy that you can't sit there and just unpack it in three days.

Arivee: Ughhh Dina, I know you cannot pack it 'cause. It's a lifelong journey. So, when people say I just want, I just want confidence.

Dina: The result is confidence. I'm like confidence. But are are you willing to do put the work in every single day? Right, cause I would. I would argue if you were willing to really take a step back and say between now and July of 2022. I'm gonna spend a whole year every single day tapping into what feels good for me. I would love to ask someone. How do you feel in a years’ time if you consistently showed up to your life tapping into what feels good for you, even if you didn't have the answer, even if you didn't know what it was supposed to look like. What would you do if you showed up every single day feeling good and and wrote like a letter to yourself on one the first day that you started this until the end? I would put money on it. I'm not a betting woman, but I would put money on it that there would be a difference in how you feel about your confidence. Because we don't apply things consistently to be able to feel that result, we want the result, but it requires work.

Arivee: Insistent work. Yes, practice. It's not a one. It's not a coaching conversation. No, it's not one.

Dina: It's not

Arivee: OK, Dina. Will you come back for Part 2 because I I really wanna consider our conversation. I know where at time. Would you come back?

Dina: Absolutely.

Arivee: OK, great. OK. OK. Thanks, deena. Thanks so much.

Dina: See you soon.

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Arive: Wow, OK. I know you all can't see me because this is audio only, but I was over here snapping my fingers, waving, nodding my head all over the place during this episode. Dina shared so many positive ways to take steps towards truly loving herself, feeling confident and feeling empowered, I just can't get enough of her wisdom and I'm so thrilled that I get the opportunity to speak with her again next week, for now, let's debrief my conversation with Dina.

Here are some of the key takeaways. Number one. Give yourself permission to dream. And go after the things go after all the things, even if they seem so out of reach. Think of the possibility of creating a position or an opportunity for yourself, even if it doesn't already exist, two the first step toward self-empowerment is feeling like you have something to free yourself from it. Acknowledge that something in your life isn't working and consider what's at stake if you continue to lead your life in that way. Number three, internal reflection is critical. You have the power within you to change the circumstance that you're in, and you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable when you do that work. Number four, celebrate your successes. As women, we tend to think that a lot of things that we do on a daily basis are just obligatory. We need to realize how much we actually do and once again celebrate those accomplishments, celebrate the little things. Think about the things that you are doing that you did get done, the steps you did take, even if they're small. Number five, you shouldn't do things for everyone else. Do them for you. And this is where Dina and I talked about Simone Biles. You know, if you're not doing things for yourself, consider why. And if you should still be doing them. Number six, find what lights your soul on fire. #7, you're worthy and you're enough. The external elements of validation will creep in. Remind yourself that you're enough without anything external. You don't need approval. You don't need validation. You have intrinsic and inherent worth always. I'll say that again, you have intrinsic inherent worth always. Spend a year tapping into what feels good for you. That was the last one that was number 8 is hearing from Dina resonated with you as much as it did with me. And if you're looking to continue on your own journey of self-empowerment and confidence and self-worth, you can reach out to Dina via her e-mail. And that is hello@enoughlabs.com you can check out her website enoughlabs.com she is also on LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. @enoughlabs, so be sure to connect with our insurer. Some love. I'm excited to welcome Dina back for another episode next week, so make sure to subscribe to this podcast to hear another conversation that will leave you feeling uplifted and will leave you with some more practical steps towards empowering yourself and stepping into your life with more confidence.

Also, please don't forget to rate and review this podcast. I'd love for you to share it with others if you want my doses of inspiration and motivation delivered to your inbox, click the link in the show notes. To subscribe. You can also connect with me on Instagram. I'm @Ariveevargas. Or, @herhumblerising. Or you can connect with me on LinkedIn. I'd love to know what you'd like to learn and hear more about on the podcast. Finally, if you've been thinking how my gonna figure out the next of my career? I've got a career clarity Quick guide for you. Just go to the show notes and click on that link until next time. Know, that you're powerful now in this moment. And you already have what you need. To create the life and career that you want, you got this.

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