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I share with Forbes my advice for employees who truly need a mental health break but can’t afford one is to establish a system and routine where you make caring for your well-being a top priority.

What's one lie you've been told about what it takes to succeed?

As women, we forget how many lies we internalize about what it means to succeed at work and what it takes to be happy.

Sometimes, the lies are spoken. Other times, they're unspoken; they're instead told to us by how we see others operating.

Some of those lies are:

❌You can't "have it all" as a working parent.

❌You have to sacrifice your personal life for career acceleration and success.

❌You’ll be more successful if you emulate stereotypical male behaviors.

❌ If you speak up or advocate for yourself, it will be seen as self-promoting.

Have you bought into any of these? I definitely used to.

Believing these lies holds us back, so we need to learn the truth and internalize that truth instead.

To do that, check out Alexandra Frost's article highlighting women's perspectives -- including mine -- outlining the 7 Lies Women are Told at Work that Hold Them Back from Success and the Truth They Need to Know Instead. 🔥

Oprah Daily asked me to share my thoughts on what you should do if your boss is mistreating you – and this can range from a comment during a presentation that was rude to more egregious behavior.  In this article, I share practical steps you can take to address the situation.

What is one way we can navigate change and challenging times?

By becoming more adaptable. Adaptability is about staying intentional with your words and actions, and pivoting quickly in service of a critical mission or goal.

Because if you’re in a stressful and challenging situation, you can still choose how you process it and respond. It means you don’t get angry and lose your cool with colleagues or your team.

Much of your job as a leader is to steer the ship, calmly and steadily. When the waters get rough, that’s when those around you see the kind of leader you really are.

Are you impatient, reactive and rigid, or intentional and adaptable?

The best leaders I’ve worked with are intentional and adaptable — especially when things get stressful and the stakes are high.

When I talk to women who work in and outside the home and they say they’re stressed, tired, and have no time to care for themselves, it’s so hard to hear.

It makes me really sad for us. We understand the systemic and structural reasons we can feel like we’re just surviving - workplaces and school schedules weren’t created with women and mothers in mind (and weren’t created for parents who want to be present with their kids).

But while we work to change that, we need to reclaim our lives and our time. Our health, happiness and our lives are at stake.

How do I know? It’s what ambitious high-achieving women I meet tell me. It’s what I saw throughout my career. And it’s how I used to feel. It’s one of the reasons I coach. I don’t want us to continue like this.

I recently did an interview with Authority Magazine published on Medium about the 5 Things You Should Do if You’re Experiencing Work Burnout.

I share more of my personal story and share actionable strategies for what companies and you can do to prevent and address burnout.

For women who identify as overachievers, high performers and model students – particularly those who are women of color – there can be a double edged sword to the mentors and colleagues rooting for you along the way. Support and accomplishment can come with a price when all eyes are on you with great expectations for your future – and then you change your mind. It’s a phenomenon called weaponized gratitude, and it can heavily impact the choices women make about their own lives and careers. 

BizWomen asked me to share my personal story - an identity crisis after the birth of my first child that led to the realization I wanted to leave my high-flying career as a litigator to pursue Human Resources – while also discussing how the feeling of manipulated gratitude initially held me back from making this change early on.

Becoming a mother was the game changer, but not for reasons you might think. I didn’t ever want to stay home and not work when I had my kids. It’s just not how I’m wired or what I wanted. Here’s an excerpt from the story I wrote about how my post-partum identity crisis made me rethink my dream career and my life.

“After giving birth to my first child and experiencing a postpartum identity crisis, I realized my professional identity, while significant, wasn't how I wanted to define myself anymore. I didn't want my self-worth to rely on work and external validation, as this created a never-ending cycle of needing more and more to feel good about myself. The birth of my son gave me the space to reflect on what I truly wanted and who I was.

Coming to that realization didn’t make me feel lighter though. It felt heavy, like another burden to carry. I felt guilty and foolish. The thought in my head running on repeat was: You should just be grateful to be where you are. That thought would kick off a spiraling of other thoughts that went something like this: Look at you. You’re so ungrateful. Other people would give anything to be in your position and you’re going to throw it all away? What are your mentors and people who’ve invested their energy and time into you going to think?”

Want to read the full story?

Through all my life transitions and career pivots, one of the mindset traps I had to navigate was the “you should be so grateful” gratitude trap.

When I left the law firm life behind, I was so grateful for every single opportunity I was given (yes I worked hard AND I recognize people also opened doors that a first-gen Latina like me historically had no access to).

I was grateful AND where I was wasn’t aligned with who I was anymore. It wasn’t aligned with what I most wanted for myself.

Maybe you’ve felt pulled towards something different or something more, and then said to yourself, “but you should be so grateful. Others would do anything to have what you have and be where you are.”

If you can relate to that inner battle, check out the article I wrote for FIERCE by mitú.

I share part of my story and ways to stop weaponizing gratitude against ourselves (especially in the moments we’re on the edge of growth and expansion) and honor yourself and your journey when it doesn’t look like you thought it would years before.

The law firm grind was never as hard as having a baby. When you spend your life defining who you are & your worth by your achievements, titles (and the prestige they bring), and your profession, it gets dicey.

Over nine years ago (as of this writing) when I had my son, I experienced an identity crisis postpartum amidst the baby blues. I didn’t understand why I was feeling sad, lost, confused, and frustrated.

What saved me was slowly (and I mean very slowly) exploring what was happening. I started asking myself questions like:

Who am I really without my job, my titles and all the things I had done?

Why do I need to always be achieving more?

What am I after?

What legacy do I really want to leave behind?

Because when I was home from maternity leave (and I was privileged my firm had a leave policy), I was with an infant. He needed to be fed, changed, held and just loved. None of that professional stuff mattered at home.

My primary source for validation (produce, perform, be excellent and get praised for it) was gone when I was on leave. But that time in my life was the turning point for everything. It changed the entire trajectory of my life and career. It’s what led me to get serious about deep-self care and it’s what I credit for every single shift in my career.

Read my story that was recently published in the Mother Chapter — a publication exclusively for moms. I share my post-partum identity crisis and why it was the greatest blessing of all.

Nelly Alba interviewed Arivee on the Back to HER podcast. In this empowering episode, they dive deep into the transformative journey of self-care. As Arivee unravels the essence of deep self-care, Arivee sheds light on the significance of nurturing one's soul amidst the chaos of busy and ambitious motherhood.

Through candid conversation, Arivee addresses the common pushback faced by women in prioritizing their well-being and offers practical strategies to overcome these obstacles.  Tune in as we discover how listening to our inner selves and embracing authentic self-care practices can lead to profound transformations, allowing us to reclaim our inner power and thrive in every aspect of life.

Listen to the episode wherever you get your favorite podcasts.

I was recently interviewed by the incredible Martine Williams on the Mompreneur Life Remixed Podcast. Here’s what Martine said about the episode. If it resonates, be sure to give it a listen!

Are you feeling the nudge for a career transition? You will love my next guest’s inspiring journey of self-discovery and alignment with her true calling as she shares her story of transitioning from a litigator to a high-performance coach.

Also in this episode:

🔥 Learn the concept of deep self-care, which goes beyond surface-level practices and involves tending to yourself like you would tend to a garden

🔥 The value of experimentation, prioritizing self-care, and embracing change with courage, confidence, and intention

🔥 The importance of taking time to slow down, journal, and explore new possibilities, even when it feels uncomfortable.

I was truly inspired by Arivee's journey and her commitment to creating a life that aligns with her values and priorities. If you're looking for motivation and insights on navigating career transitions, self-care, and personal growth, I highly recommend listening to this episode.