*DRUMROLL*
The Biggest Roadblock Between You, Clarity, and the Life You Actually Want Is:
Putting Everyone Else First
(which can show up as porous boundaries)
Heads up: you're extraordinarily amazing and people absolutely adore you, but it's entirely possible you never got the memo!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's likely that you prioritize trying to make everyone else happy over your own happiness.
Sometimes, it might even feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells to maintain the delicate equilibrium that is everyone else's emotions and expectations. When's the other shoe gonna drop and cause those shells to crack and crumble?!
This is your invitation to leave the hefty weight of unnecessary responsibility at the door.
Because when you learn to prioritize your glorious self (more on that below) — you'll learn that the greatest gift you can give to others is your own self-expansion. Worrying about how everyone else is going to feel won't stop you from going after what you really want — and stepping into your own spotlight. Instead, like the greatest hero(ine) — you'll feel the fear and crush your dreams anyway.
Heads up 👉🏽
Based on your responses, this is your core personal roadblock. Whether or not putting everyone else first feels pressing right now, the next time a big challenge rears its head — be on the lookout.
Watch this video or keep reading to learn more 🔽
The amazing news?
You're about to discover how to align your lifestyle, your skillset, your passion, and your expertise. With tons of actionable strategies to move your career and your life forward from this moment forward.
Here's the deal: Roadblocks don't have to stop you in your tracks. Your biggest roadblock also reveals your biggest breakthrough 👊🏽⚡
↓
Let me introduce you to
Your Powerful Badass Breakthrough...
Prioritizing Your Own Dreams and Well-Being
Your quiz results reveal so many of your strengths, friend! From your warm, calming presence, to your off the charts EQ, to everything you've already been through and accomplished — you were born to help make this world better for everyone involved!You're an inspiring visionary who goes above-and-beyond for the things that matter most.
You're a passionate advocate for peace with the power to make a lasting positive impact.
You max out on empathy like it's a black credit card and there's literally no limit. Your openhearted style helps the people in your world feel seen and inspired to crush their dreams too.
As you let go of the quest to make everyone else happy, your whole game will change.
When you tap into your natural strengths, you’ll uncover a well of clarity, confidence, anad courage that's been waiting to support you forever. The word "courage" comes from "heart" (in Latin) — and you're the Queen of Hearts because you've got that in spades. It may not feel that way, but trust me it’s in you!
In another life you could've been a life-giving TV show host like Mr. Rogers, or a politician who actually makes the world better (instead of just delivering platitudes). People hang onto your words like they're medicine — the balm to soothe their soul wounds — and they're here for anything and everything you have to share 🌟
Winning hearts and minds has never been hard for you, which has sometimes made you question your swimming lane in a sea of everyone else's opinions. Now's your chance to make your success match what you really really want.
LET'S BREAK IT DOWN REAL QUICK:
Because your breakthrough is about to begin, friend!
Your Roadblock
Putting Everyone Else First
Placing everyone's needs before your own is a way of holding yourself back instead of going after what you're here to do — it can feel easier to stay still than to risk rocking the boat. Embrace the fact that you are just as worthy and deserving of satisfaction as anyone else in your life.
Right here, right now, today!
“As you take steps to truly prioritize yourself, everything gets easier. It’s not about always demanding: “Me first.” It’s about recognizing and sticking up for yourself with “My needs matter too.”
Reminder: At the end of the day → you're in the driver's seat of your life. So set your inner GPS to your own sunset, and ride into it!
Your Breakthrough
Prioritizing Your Own Well-Being and Dreams
You've got a deep well of natural talent, mastered skills, and gifts that transform lives. Here's your permission to eliminate humble pie from your diet!
Admit your incredible talents to yourself, and then go after your biggest dreams — no matter what anyone else has to say about it.
The more you do what you came here to do (for yourself), the more you can really serve your community.
You already are the CEO of your life! (Now it’s time to put yourself first and see what magic that creates in the world)
But first up, let's talk about that whole "Boundaries" thing for a second...
There's a common misconception that setting a boundary has to be a hard and intense thing. That being empowered means you stand in power poses like a superhero, and appear to be tough at all times. But your expression of healthy boundaries is unique to you.
Your sensitivity is ultimately your greatest strength. Over time, you'll be surprised by how much people admire your ability to feel things deeply AND take care of yourself. Trust your feelings to help you set boundaries that intuitively feel right for you.
The more kind and loving you are to yourself, the more effortless boundary setting will feel because eventually you’ll realize that the people around you respect you more when you take care of your own needs too.
Even if people don't fully understand your choices at first, resist the urge to justify, explain, or seek approval. Trust yourself and know that they really do want you to be happy. Because the truth is not having the boundaries that truly work for you isn’t serving you. And when you’re doing things at your own expense to make everyone else okay, when you’re not okay, that’s too much power you’re giving away.
By the way, if you've been playing small because you're afraid of being too much or bothering anyone — it's important for you to know: you have permission to take up space. To be as bold, magnificient, and incredible as you truly are. Ultimately, your shining bright is a GIFT to everyone around you.
You got this. Now what do you want to do with it?!
For starters, you can stop waiting around to have the life and career you want and deserve.
“One day or day one. You decide.”
- Paulo Coelho
BECAUSE HERE'S THE THING:
You have the power NOW to
create the change you want in your life*
*yes, systemic barriers exist → but we’re busting through them together, friend. More on this below…
If you've ever felt like "there has to be more." You're right. That's truth calling you
like you're #1 on her speed-dial. ☎️ ☎️☎️
Even if you've been giving her the busy signal, she'll keep dialing in until she gets through.
If you're feeling confused (or even like you have no idea what to do next), that's natural. Especially now when the world is more chaotic and confusing than ever.
But your truth is inside of you. Waiting to reveal itself as soon as you call it forward.
So get ready because as you dive deep and create your own clarity — you'll gain the inner self- trust and confidence you've been imagining. From there, going after what is really yours won't feel so daunting. It'll feel easier and fun.
As you put your own dreams in the driver's seat, you'll claim your truth with a lot less hesitation. Your self worth will be solid, no matter who's around, or what challenge you're facing next. You'll know that you're worthy because you are. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. From there, you can create the kind of success you've always dreamed of. Because it's 100,000,000% your own!
The more you step into your Powerful Badass Breakthrough, the easier it becomes to align every aspect of your life with who you really are. You'll know your worth, claim it, and own it. And the world will take notice (even though you’ll no longer need it to)!
As soon as you recognize your own power,
you can approach life in a whole new way.
With clarity on lock, everything becomes easier.
Get pumped, because this quiz result is about to help you step out of any and all confusion when it comes to your career and anything else that's high on your priority list.
Keep reading for your Powerful Badass Breakthrough specific strategies!
Your Powerful Badass Blueprint:
🌟A cheatsheet of the characteristics that make you absolutely amazing! 💗
Your Uniquely Inspiring Qualities At-a-Glance:
Positivity: If you were a bumper sticker, you would say: "It's cool to bee kind, honey!" 🐝
Receptivity: Who needs a magic 8 ball when they're hanging out with you? You help everyone get the answers they need! 🔮
Compassion: You're a bridge over troubled water, aka the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for 🥰
Connection: Do you sew? Because you really know how to stitch everything together! 🧵
Your High-School Senior Superlative:
Most Likely To Become A Motivational Speaker: You know how to get people fired up & feeling the feels
Your Career-Building Superpower:
Team-building: You love smoothing out communication, helping everyone feel seen, and cultivating community
Your Self-Care Practice:
Cleansing & Tranquility: From long baths with sea salt to earthing in nature — return to your body, be in nature, be by the ocean, clear the energy and expectations of others, and feel at peace
Your Inner Beyoncé Song:
Love On Top
"Come on baby it's you/
You're the one that gives your all/
You're the one I can always call/
When I need to make everything stop/
Finally you put my love on top"
Your Mindset Motto:
“I have the right to take up space. The more I care for my own needs the more I can show up for others.
I love myself and let that love ripple outward!"
Famous Leaders Just Like You:
Alicia Keys, Gloria Steinem, Carl Jung, & Marie Kondo
GET CLEAR ON WHO YOU ARE WITH:
Your Burdens & Blessings
The more self-awareness you have, the easier it becomes to get clear on what's really important to you in this season of your life.
From there, you can make choices that really speak to who you are. From your next career move, to how you define work-life integration. The more you boost your blessings and release your burdens, the more free you'll feel in every aspect of your life.
BLESSINGS:
You have a grounding presence paired with a true gift for making people feel seen and supported.
Community building comes naturally to you. You take a genuine interest in others, and your kindness brings out the best in everyone.
You move through the world with an open heart. You have a deep ability to help others communicate, heal, and improve their lives. People really appreciate your thoughtful sincerity.
Your deep compassion, and open-minded perspective makes you a natural peace-maker, coach, guide, and advisor. You look for the opportunities in challenges, which inspires other people to seek the bright side too.
BURDENS:
Because you're tuned into everyone else's feelings, it's important for you to step back and get in touch with your own. Ya feel me?
You place such a high value on community, that it can be hard for you to step into your own spotlight. Honor your strengths and let yourself shine. Celebrate your wins and even try (gasp!) bragging about yourself!
Though your sensitivity may feel intense at times, it's one of your greatest strengths. When feelings get overwhelming, remember your inherent strength. Make sure there are people in your corner you can turn to — as much as they turn to you.
You can occasionally become passive or get discouraged when the going gets tough. Keep moving forward, even if the odds seem against you. Over time, the change you're craving will become more and more visible until it's concrete!
🙌🏽 Release All the Roadblocks to Make Space for Your Empowered Life 🙌🏽
You already have what it takes to live a life of radical success. As you combine your purpose, your values, and your incredible spark — you carve out a new path for yourself that won’t look like anyone else's. Open your mind to consider more possibilities for yourself, and free yourself to live the life that lights you up.
If the thought of figuring out the "how" feels overwhelming
I'M GOING TO LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET:
Doing this work doesn't always feel easy! But it's about to get a whole lot easier because I've got your back — A life and high performance coach who traded in a successful law career (that didn't align with who I really was) — for a life that reflects every inch of who I am.
If you're feeling stuck or uncertain about what's coming next — it can even feel like a crisis. Whether it's feeling unfulfilled at work or in your personal life, or knowing you're meant for something greater. Because you can feel it inside your bones when something's not quite in alignment.
Maybe your job is just fine for now, but you’re wanting more meaning in your personal life — like deeper relationships with your family and friends.
On the other hand, maybe you're in a job that's not really satisfying, but you have no absolutely no idea how to figure out what's next.
Maybe you know you want to leave, but giving your notice feels impossible. It's literally the last thing on your to-do list right below "deep clean the oven."
Maybe the weight of needing to make big life decisions is feeling seriously stressful!
Especially if you're aiming as high as you do, friend. But you can actually use this time of confusion to your advantage. You can come out the other side feeling like you know yourself better. You can make changes that reflect who you are and what you really want. Research shows that when we feel confusion, we go deeper into learning-mode because we're committed to figuring out what we don't know!
At some time or another —and for most of us many times or another — we're going to have to ask this question: What am I here to do with my one wild and precious life? (Shout out to Mary Oliver!)
Questioning your job, career, or direction of your life is by no means a sign of weakness or failure. Instead, it's a real symbol of your strength. You know you're here to do the work, and you're going to face it head on.
Fitting into the mold of an oppressive system or a narrow viewpoint of success isn't enough for you. And it shouldn’t have to be.
You gotta shine on your own terms and define excellence for yourself.
When you flip the roadblock of putting everyone else first (with a side of porous boundaries) upside down, you begin to realize that nobody has the right to dictate your life path. And no more catering to others at your own expense.
You create the path that most expresses who you are by trusting yourself and remembering what you've been through. You've faced immense challenges so many times and succeeded — remind yourself of your wins. Celebrate yourself!
You can bolster your self worth, and take the steps forward before you even have all the answers. But rest assured this quiz result will help you hear your own answers too.
So if you’ve been asking yourself…
"How come it seems like everyone knows what they're doing when I have no clue what I even want?"
"I feel so behind… How come I'm not further along by now?"
"How do I reach my goals and take really good care of myself at the same time?"
"What am I actually supposed to do with my life?!"
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a manual that told you exactly what you should do?
Well, friend, there's no such book, but you’re in the perfect place to explore how you can get the clarity you're looking for. And make bold moves accordingly.
You can have it all. But not in a way that reflects the pressure of needing to be everything for everyone. In an authentic, aligned, and true way. You don't have to compromise. You can find balance beyond any signs of burnout. You can have joy and fulfillment in your personal and professional life.
A life you love isn't just a platitude. Get ready to discover yours!
Below you get a step-by-step Roadmap to own all of your brilliance, and hone in on your areas of excellence. So that you can find a new kind of balance. Discover a path that reflects your greatness. And a life that's as satisfying as savoring pistacchio gelato while strolling the streets in Venice (cause you don't need a vacation from your life anymore! 🍨)
You're about to learn how to claim everything you deserve, without feeling guilty about it. Because you're so worth it, friend!
In Your 4 Step Roadmap You'll Discover & Practice the 4 As:
*Here's your permission to take this roadmap gently and even let it be messy! I've also sent a month-long guided journaling process to your inbox to take these steps more in depth. It's yours to keep, it's free, and it'll help you continue to get clear on your next big career move.*
Assess
Get perspective on what you most want out of life so that you can start going after it.
Ask
Instead of struggling with the whole "your thoughts create your reality" thing, you're going to unlock a natural, easy way to make room for the things you most want to bring into your life (works really well for claiming a career you love!)
Activate
Finally get clear about your values and feel secure in your purpose — uncover your "Why" and watch yourself get more confident and clear
Align
When you're in alignment, everything flows and it all becomes so much easier. Align with your values, take action on your dreams, and create real momentum & impact in a way that truly matters to you.
↓↓ Keep reading to discover how you can finally bust through any roadblock in your path. So you can step into a career and a life that aligns with everything you stand for ↓↓
YOU MAY BE THINKING:
"Sure, that sounds great, but how can I actually move forward when the system seems so stacked against me?"
For many of us — especially if you're a first generation professional or been through a lot to get here — there's an immense feeling of pressure to succeed. A burden of responsibility. Whether it's from your community, your family, or expectations you have for yourself.
Does this internal tape sound familiar?
"I need to take care of myself and be financially responsible.”
“I need to make money so I don't have to worry about it.”
“I need to make my parents proud and my community proud.”
“I need to be a role model."
Even from childhood, so many of us are always always navigating this feeling of needing to seem successful by familial and societal standards.
You might think you have to suck it up, because of the sacrifices that were made on your behalf. You don't have the privilege of following your passion. You have to go after "traditional" success.
Ironically, that pressure can really hold you back.
Have you been putting your passion and purpose on the back burner in order to "make it"?
A lot of people become super unhappy because they push their dreams to the sidelines. They know their job won't satisfy them but then they don't do what lights them up outside of that.
So they feel like they're wasting their potential. They're not satisfied, and not sure why.
With all these crazy expectations, and all these boxes to check off — it can sometimes seem like there's no winning!
If you've been putting yourself last because you're afraid of what other people are going to think, it's time to stop, drop, and free yourself up to new possibilities.
What if instead of trying to be anyone else's idea of success you could celebrate every inch of who you are and everything you bring to the table. Here's the thing: you've been doing your best to make it work in a colonial and patriarchal system — to be the best for everyone.
If you let that system fit you into a box that isn't really yours to fill, how will you ever change it for the better?
Yes, many of the problems you might be facing are systemic, but the solution isn't to sit on your hands. Admitting defeat doesn't help anyone. Especially yourself!
At the end of the day, we can recognize systemic issues, call out colonization, see the patriarchy for what it is. And propel society forward.
Even with all the systemic struggles we might have to face, this Roadmap will help empower you to succeed on your own terms. We don’t have to throw our hands up and give all our power away. There are still things within our control.
Get ready to step into the full expression of your power.
So you can become who you've always dreamed of being without holding any part of yourself back.
When you know your truth, and align what you do with who you are, that's when real success takes shape. It gives you the freedom to claim who you really are.
There's a greatness inside of you, listen to it.
“Take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way you see you, and treat you the way you treat yourself.”
-Beyonce
🗺️ YOUR 4-STEP ROADMAP TO CLARITY 📍
1. Assess
Take a step back
so you can get clear on what you really want.
Does this sound like you? 👇🏽
You've gone after your dreams for as long as you can remember. You killed it in college. You worked hard to make your family proud every step of the way.
But now you're often wondering what the point of it all is. Or if what you're doing is even useful 🤷🏽♀️
You may be so used to relying on others' praise to affirm your level of success — that without constant validation you wonder if you're worthy.
If it all went away, would you still be accepted? Could you still hold your head up high?
Put a hand on your heart and remind yourself — your success is not a fluke!
You've worked hard, you've earned it, and you can accept that you're frankly exceptional.
If you're trying to be everything for everyone because you're not quite sure you're good enough to be there, many people would call that imposter syndrome. But the truth is, you may not be an imposter — you may be something else entirely.
If you're trying to be everything for everyone because you're not quite sure you're good enough to be there, many people would call that imposter syndrome. But the truth is, you may not be an imposter — you may be something else entirely.
What if instead of being an imposter, you've been in the wrong role?!
Maybe there's a chance for you to bring more of yourself into what you do.
For example, I went straight from undergrad to law school and I never really stopped to assess who I was and who I really wanted to become. Sure, I thought I wanted to be a lawyer, but I didn’t take the time to really examine that. It was something I always said I would do, so I wasn’t about to back out of it.
Around the time my first child was born, I was approaching decision time on whether I wanted to pursue partnership at my law firm the following year. At the same time I had reached the final interview to be a federal prosecutor, which is a long and arduous process.
It was the hardest interview process I'd ever been through. I could feel I was hairbreaths away from an offer. Sure, no guarantees until you get that offer, but I felt it.
But right before my final interview, I called the US attorney and told her:
"I'm withdrawing my application. I can't be a federal prosecutor. It's not who I am. It's what I thought I wanted, but that was four years ago. But it's not really what I want to do now."
She was shocked. In fact, I was kind of shocked too.
By the way, I didn't go for the partnership either. It turned out, being a trial lawyer wasn’t what I wanted. I felt in my heart and spirit that even though I had worked my entire career for that, I had a different calling. And I needed to go through all of that to be where I am right now, right here with you.
Instead I took a role in compliance at another company. It was a door of opportunity to other skills and passions I could explore and develop. At the end of the day, it sounded so much more interesting to me to shift gears completely — than to keep doing what I'd been doing without stopping to ask myself who I was and what I wanted.
So I dove in, and it lit me up! I was exposed to a new world and I’m so grateful that I finally listened to myself and took a chance on myself. I eventually pivoted again to Human Resources. From there I found coaching. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made, in fact.
I share my story to highlight:
if you don't even know where you're at — how can you move forward?
In order to know what's next for you, it's essential to take a bird's eye view of your life. Here's your chance to get honest with yourself about what's coming up for you in your search for your next step. You don’t have to know the dream job, but you can have clarity on your direction and the next best right step.
From there you can make choices that are so you — that you’ll easily kick the habit of always putting everyone else’s needs before your own to the curb!
Just a reminder, you've got a whole month of exercises heading to your inbox right now— to support you to take these 4 steps deeper. This is just the first gentle step.
Think of this first exercise as dipping your toe as you begin to open your mind toward new possibilities.
ASSESS EXERCISE
Find a whiteboard/poster board and markers. Or grab a blank sheet of paper.
Now draw circles to represent the major aspects of your life.
Here's an idea of what it can look like:
Once you've got all the major areas of your life before your eyes, simply sit with what you've drawn. Take some time to consider what areas matter most to you. You do not have to have this all figured out just yet. This is all about giving yourself a bit of space to get clear.
Then get creative with your circles:
If you're a more visual person, you can choose to color in or color-code your circles. Choose which colors signify what matters most.
If you love writing, scrawl on those circles! Write little poems, or free-associate any words that are coming up for you.
If you're into food, maybe you can think about how you feel about the different parts of your life through food. Are mental and emotional health a kind of dessert that you only treat yourself to digging into on rare occasions?
Let yourself get creative and approach these circles in your own unique way!
Give yourself a whole week to consider the circles of your life…
What's most important right now?
What needs the most love?
What gets too much attention? What doesn’t get enough attention?
This will help you start seeing your life from a more holistic perspective.
Above all, celebrate yourself because this is self-awareness, and it, alone, is a major step towards clarity — not to mention you're being a good friend to yourself as you take bold steps toward your breakthrough.
Now that you've Assessed, you're ready to Activate.
ACTIVATE
Finally feel secure in what you stand for and your true purpose
activate your excitement and potential!
At one time or another, all of us feel disconnected with our purpose.
Especially if you've been making choices based on outward expectations or to avoid the discomfort that could come by standing up for what you need.
But living your values and finding your purpose doesn't have to be overly complicated or difficult.
I've got a simple idea that can really help you tap into yours.
Your purpose is your truth. When you know your truth, and live by that truth, you are on purpose. Always.
Think back to your childhood and as you grew into adulthood. What were the things you absolutely loved to do?
Give yourself a moment to really recall the little hobbies and obsessions that you had:
Collecting sea shells or digging for buried treasure?
Building pillow forts for your pet!
Putting on plays for anyone who came to your house.
What strikes you viscerally?
Now grab a pen and paper and jot them down.
You can also think of the skills that come most naturally to you.
Bonus points: phone a childhood friend or relative and ask what they remember you being obsessed with!
For me, I always knew I was an empath. I was always aware of everybody's feelings. And aware of my own. I loved listening to people's stories and giving support.
As I got older that gift showed up as mentorship for others and then coaching and a podcast.
The things that give you energy and light you up are there, they’re really the truth of who you are.
So let your truth and your passion express themselves to you, all you need to do is practice listening.
PURPOSE EXERCISE
For this simple exercise, think of yourself as a detective.
With your scratchpad handy, look for clues.
Write down the things that light you up.
The ways you serve or show up that bring you pure joy.
The wild hopes and dreams you had as a kid.
Keep a list of everything that makes you come to life.
We're going to go a whole lot deeper on this (and even write down your purpose!) in our month-long journaling exercise. But for now keep it light and breezy.
Tap into the feeling of joy.
Practice speaking your truth out loud.
When you ignite your pure joy, your truth, and the energy you bring toward everything you do — your purpose will reveal itself to you.
You're doing amazing, friend!
Now let's use the energy of your joy to make some huge waves in your life…
ASK
What's Your Vision?
Try this easy way to bring what you really want into your life
I'm going to shine a spotlight on this whole heated topic of manifestation.
Some people think it's woo. Or totally bogus.
Some people say "your thoughts create your reality."
Here's how I like to think of it:
Our feelings create our experience.
I wouldn't say "our thoughts create our reality" because we have to be really situation specific when it comes to our thoughts.
When I coach people, I ask "what are you feeling?" first.
And then we can think about where that comes from.
Our brains and bodies work differently. Our feelings often come before our thoughts.
Because if someone's being defensive, they're not like "Oh, I think I'm defensive right now." They’re tensing their shoulders and tightening their eyelids.
Gritting their teeth and tightening their solar plexus. It's a felt experience.
I bring this up because now that you've taken time to assess and activate, the next step is to Ask for what you want (aka visualize it coming true!).
That helps you create your new reality, but it's a lot different than just monitoring your limiting beliefs like a hall monitor.
I do believe that manifestation is possible. But only if you recognize what you want, put it out into the world, then take action to put yourself into alignment with it.
Ultimately, you can call in the things you want when you're clear on your real desires, and you're taking action to make things happen.
Let's dive into one of my favorite ways to feel great about what's next for you.
ASK EXERCISE
This exercise gives you a chance to take a 5 minute vacation (or a little more if you need it) whenever you want!
Set aside a little bit of time to daydream. 5 minutes can go a long way.
You can choose to do this seated in a space that's special to you. Or you can lie in bed when you first wake up or before you wind down for the evening.
When you've found your moment, choose how far into the future you want to daydream into. A year? A decade? 6 months?
Whatever feels doable and relaxing to you is the number to go with.
Then dream up your vision for your life. In this space there are no limitations, only possibilities. So paint the picture. Let yourself feel like an imaginative child — just daydreaming about possibilities.
Where do you wake up in the morning?
What does your ideal day look like?
How are you showing up and interacting with others (family, friends, colleagues, etc.)?
As you're daydreaming, gently notice your thought patterns. Do you find yourself editing your visualization or wondering what a family member would think of your new life?
Remind yourself that this is your dream space! And you get to make it how you want it.
If you find yourself stuck, think of some things you're grateful for — or past moments that lit you up.
This exercise will help you bring in so much clarity. Because whether or not you believe in manifesting, taking this step helps you to know "This is what I really want in my life. This is what it looks like to me."
Not to mention, giving yourself this space to feel into your wildest dreams will free your heart and mind. It'll help you make each and every day lighter — starting now.
Align
Step Into Alignment
So that everything flows & you feel full of energy for life
When you're in alignment, everything is easier.
You're not resisting the life you're living, or constantly second-guessing yourself.
You're completely in touch with your vision, values, purpose — and you live with deep levels of self-trust and integrity.
Truth is, you know what it's like to be in alignment, or out of alignment.
You know what it feels like to make a choice that doesn't sit well with your value system. Whether it's giving into an urge to gossip. Or saying "sure, I'll do it," when you really have no space. Or even just saying something self-deprecating to make a friend feel better — It usually comes with an icky feeling.
Alignment feels like flowstate. It feels like things lining up, things working out. It feels like dancing for the sheer joy of it. Or a really, really good day!
So for this Align exercise, we're going to practice something super simple. It'll help you get more aware of when you're in alignment, and when you're out of alignment.
Of course there's no judgment here. Just a chance to grow your self-awareness.
And if you need extra support in this area, remember you've got a 30-day workbook coming to your inbox — I've got you covered, friend!
ALIGN EXERCISE
First up: practice feeling aligned by setting strong boundaries.
It's most likely you already know what's draining to you and what's energizing. So practice saying a strong "No!' to some of the things that drain you. Whether it's a social invitation that you don't really need to take — or kindly refusing to take on extra work you really don't have room for.
Practice saying "No" when your answer is really a "No."
With your family setting boundaries might be a little extra challenging, so you can think of it as being loving, but firm. Remember, even if it feels like your parents or others who’ve invested in you have a lot of expectations for you — what they really want is for you to be safe, happy, and prosperous.
But prosperity is something you get to define now. It's not up to them or anyone else anymore.
Don't forget this is your one wild and precious life.
By being yourself, you make them proud — even if they don't have the awareness to fully understand your choices in each and every moment.
The people who love and care for you deeply will continue to do that no matter what direction you choose.
Take your power back a little by imagining you have a strong protective cloak around yourself when you're in their presence. You can keep your energy for yourself inside your warm cloak.
Now that you've got your boundaries more firm, let's practice aligning with what you actually want!
This practice is also super simple, but effective…
The next time you choose a meal from a restaurant — check in with yourself about what you most want.
Not what you think you should eat. Not what everyone else is having. Not something that's tasteless but somehow virtuous.
Order the thing that would most thoroughly satisfy you in the moment!
When your food arrives, investigate what it feels like to have clarity about what you want. Get to know this physical reality.
Gentle reminder: Your choice doesn't have to be perfect — and yep you may even end up choosing something that tastes delicious but doesn't sustain you over the long haul. And that's okay!
This is more about tapping into your deep desires, and trusting yourself to be able to rebound, no matter what you choose. You're not always going to get it perfect right out of the gate.
But if you keep moving forward with the intention to be in alignment, you will find your path. You'll also get so much closer to yourself in the process.
At the end of the day trusting yourself will carry you through any hard "wrong" decisions you make. You can't go wrong!
Your intuition, your body, your heart (and even your mind when you quiet it) all know the answers. The more you notice when you feel aligned, the more alignment becomes a muscle you hone.
So trust that you can meet what comes to you with all your brilliance, passion, and sheer smarts. And at the end of the day — as you leave clues for your passion — your passion will follow you!
To recap: Get to know what alignment feels like for you in your body, practice saying "No" to things you know aren't right, and stay open to opportunities.
It's pretty simple, but it'll take you far.
CONGRATS, YOU EXCELLENT BEING!
You are stepping into your alignment
Now that you've gone through the 4 As, you can move forward with deeper levels of confidence and clarity. Remember: you are so, so, so worth taking this time to get clear.
Get ready to claim the life, career, and all the joy that you deserve!
Hold up, who created this clarifying quiz?!
Hi Game Changer!
🙋🏻♀️I'm Arivee Vargas — host of the Humble Rising Podcast and Certified Life & High Performance Coach to first generation & women of color professionals.
I'm honored that you're here 🙏🏽
As my son says, we all have “sparks.” My brightest spark is helping women step into their innate power. To live the life and build the career they want, need and deserve.
I'm also a recovering people pleaser and a recovering perfectionist 😆
Being born in the U.S. with two Dominican parents— I often felt too different from the American kids at my elementary and middle school to fit in.
I sure didn’t have the language back then to articulate how othered I felt and how complicated navigating my identity really was. It can be challenging when your school has essentially zero racial and ethnic diversity.
As a child, I said I was going to be a lawyer — it felt like a solid, responsible career that would make my parents and community proud. So I went to college, went to law school (my college professors were like "are you sure you don't want to get that PhD in sociology? You love it." But I wasn’t hearing it).
I built a life that "checked all the boxes." Except for "deeply fulfilling." I didn’t realize any of this for a while.
I was a great lawyer, but I never felt like I had room to do anything less than perfect. Especially because if I messed up, I felt like it was going to reflect on other people who look like me. I wanted to be the role model, the one who “made it” to show others they could do the same thing.
It felt like I didn’t have room to breathe and I surely didn’t make time to ask myself:
"Wait, is this what I want?
"Is this who I am?"
"How does this really make me feel in my spirit and in my bones?"
I didn’t realize then that we can be who we are and honor the beautiful legacies of our family and communities at the same time.
Giving birth to my first son in 2015 finally gave me the space to ask myself the big questions. I discovered how much of my sense of self was based on my accomplishments. Even though I liked being a lawyer, something big was missing. What has always come the most naturally is being a mentor, and having real autonomy in how I grow, guide and help others— I knew I had to answer that call.
I can't tell you that choice was easy. I asked myself the questions you're exploring in your roadmap. Investing in this journey. Getting coaching so that I could be at my best — for my kids, for my partner, and above all for myself. Doing this self-inquiry was certainly a challenge. But the clarity I got was enormous.
For the first time in my life, I started making choices based on my deep truth. I let go of all the weight of expectations (I even directly challenged what I thought were my parents' and my community’s expectations for me) — and I made some radical shifts in my life that felt more aligned than ever before.
I learned that people who truly care for you and love you, will be there for you no matter what you do when you’re pursuing living a fulfilled life. Most mentors, colleagues, friends, and family supported every twist and turn in my life and career, even when they didn’t understand it.
But that’s the thing…
No one has to understand it. Only you do.
When I was about to be considered for partner at my law firm, I surprised everyone (almost including myself) by turning it down. But after looking inward — because you can ask everyone for advice, but it’s not going to ever be as good as your own inner knowing — I knew that it wasn’t in alignment with what I wanted for my life. I decided to pursue a different path and became a coach because it's naturally who I am. A guide, an advisor, a people person, an empath.
You can overcome your roadblocks and get after your goals without holding back. You can experience the freedom that comes with living on purpose.
I'm here to help you activate your own inner compass, and support you as you follow its lead.
It’s not about achieving; it’s about experiencing joy, fulfilment, and living a life and having a career that’s aligned with who you are. That could be law or anything else that’s truly you.
As a high-performance coach, I've seen some of the most empowering transformations you can imagine. And I'm so excited for yours, friend!
Xo,
Arivee
YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE!
Snag these swoon-worthy *free* resources to fuel your empowered rise on an even deeper level!
🎁 CURATED JUST FOR YOU 👇🏽
Listen to the Humble Rising Podcast (on Apple Podcasts or Spotify)
Join me for weekly conversations with badass, inspirational women of color sharing their own stories. You'll get tons of actionable strategies on how to have a fulfilling career and life.
I'll share how you can get and stay motivated to create the life you've always wanted — from stories to mindset hacks to strategies to stop feeling stuck.
LinkedIn is my absolute favorite platform to create community and connect with high-achieving game-changers like you. I'm so excited to connect with you there. Feel free to send me a DM and share how your results are resonating with you!
Dive deeper into owning your worthiness with this podcast episode curated just for you: "Self-Empowerment Starts With Awareness." (Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify)
Learn how to step into your power and dig deep into what that really means. You'll learn how to know when you are and aren't experiencing self-empowerment. Discover the biggest challenges to feeling empowered and how you can overcome them. The episode's full of tips to help you believe in yourself, and feel worthy enough to follow the call of your own dreams. Starting right now!
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Remember: YOU are the CEO of Your Life
I'll never tell you it's easy to follow the call of your heart when you've been letting other people's expectations run the show for a long time. But actually, not listening to your own truth is so much harder.
The path to a career and life of your dreams isn't linear. It's not going to look like anyone else's.
Above all, you don't have to fit yourself into a box!
Yes, there are systemic barriers. But you can't let them stop you in your tracks. That would just be letting a broken system win.
Everything is changing right now. Old systems are crumbling.
Why not use this time to get so clear on your life, so that you'll be unshakeable in your direction from this moment forward?
Why not help reorganize, restructure, and redefine the system in a way that brings all of your passion to the forefront?
Why not put all of your effort, energy, and talents into creating the kind of legacy you most want to leave behind?
When you are the change, you inspire the change.
You can use everything you came from to move yourself forward and call in a career that you absolutely adore. And then reach out a hand, and pull the next superstar up the ladder with you.
You don't have to do this alone. Think of this quiz as me reaching out a hand and taking you up this laddr with me. It’s time for you to crush some limitations, break through those roadblocks and create your own purposeful path. You will figure this out.
Now that you're in my world, I'm here for you. To help you get the clarity you crave, let go of the burdens, unlock your dream career, and exceed even your own high expectations for yourself. Because together, we will rise.
Meet me in your inbox for your super special VIP gift — A month of journaling exercises to support you as you work through the 4 As! I'll break down my framework with even more detail — and share straight-forward, effective exercises to help you feel clear, empowered, and confident to take your next steps forward.
I'm so excited for you on this journey, friend. You're on the precipice of accessing all the potential just waiting for you to dig deep, tap in, and feel the flow. The moment to empower yourself is now.
Here's to your Powerful Badass Breakthrough!
I'm rooting for you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
