Episode 7 Transcript

Arivee: Thanks so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed the conversation with Tosin. Here are the key takeaways from our conversation. Number one. We need to self-confront not just reflect. Self-confrontation means you are 100% honest about who you are, your values, what you can and can't do in your ability. It also means understanding that if you don't have the ability yet being honest that you'll need to equip yourself with what you need to get it #2. You have to get very uncomfortable with the false reality you’ve believed in, and you have to believe it's simply not good enough for you anymore. If you want to really change your actions to get what you want, being honest with yourself is the foundation. Without that, nothing changes. Number 3. Fulfilment must be self-defined when we look to others’ expectations of us. And it could be families, cultures or societies, expectations or hold onto our old expectations of ourselves that no longer apply to us to determine that fulfillment, we won't be satisfied that type of fulfillment isn't coming from deep inside of us, so it's not going to last. Number four, think about and write down 5 core values that define you right now, not the values expected of you. What really are your core values? Don't run away from this type of work. Number 5 and that's the last one. Rising humbly means rising to step into the best of who you are and honoring who you are and being able to shine in your own unique way, especially for Tosin's fellow introverts. Now my friends. If you want to find Tosin to connect with her and learn more about her simple blueprint coaching program. Please reach out to her on Instagram. Her handle is @thetosinrichard. I love her post there encouraging, and they're honest and they're so real. So please follow her and connect with her. Also, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode if you want my weekly doses of inspiration, motivation. Click the link in the show notes to subscribe, and if you've been asking yourself how to figure out the next step in your career, I've got a career clarity guide just for you. It's a framework with questions for you to work through. Check out the show notes for the link. Until next time, keep stepping into how incredibly powerful you are.

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Arivee Vargas: Hi I'm Arivee Vargas. I believe we're all so powerful beyond our wildest imaginations. We have the ability to overcome the fears, self-doubt, negative beliefs and all the other roadblocks that hold us back from having the life and career we really want and deserve. That's why I created the Humble Rising podcast. 

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I want to help you get clear on what a joyful and fulfilling life and career looks like for you. And help you go after it with all you have. Each week, we'll talk to badass inspirational women sharing their journeys. We’ll dig into their successes, their failures, challenges, the different shifts, in their careers, in their personal lives and so much more. Be inspired, get motivated, and get ready to rise. This is the Humble Rising Podcast. 

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Arivee: Hey friends. I wanted to share something very special and personal this week. I am getting ready to welcome another daughter. I'm 39 weeks pregnant at the time of this recording. And as I've been thinking about what it would to be like to have two girls and would have felt like to have my first daughter Maya. I remembered the letter I wrote to her when she was just a couple of months old in 2017. I wrote it in my on my phone and my notes app at 2:30 in the morning. After I finish nursing her. I don't know why I wrote down that time in my notes, but I I did. I had a lot of things on my mind that time. And I was worried, to say the least, about the world she was being born into. So, I wanted to write her. So that when she's old enough to understand, she could read it and she could take it all in. So, the letter is all the things. I want her to know. About what I wish for her or what I hope for her. The things I want her to remember and more. And as I read as I read through this. You know, every time I read through it. And as I read through it earlier, I realized that this is what I wish for. All girls, especially black and Latinx girls. It's for that reason I wanted to share it with you and. You will likely find as I did reminders in it that resonate regardless of how old you actually are. So here it is. 

My dearest Maya. May your heart be full of joy and gratitude. Not hate and bigotry. May you stand up for yourself and others who do not have the ability or courage to do so themselves. May you call out injustice when you see it and do something about it to change what's wrong. May you be kind to others and show empathy and understanding. May you understand you come from a long line of strong independent giving. And electric black and Latino women. Who will support you as you navigate life's turbulent waters? May you understand you are beautiful. Despite those who equate color with ugliness and fear. May you understand there will be people who disagree with you on issues that really matter and affect people's everyday lives like immigration, the economy and education. It's OK to disagree. It's not OK to allow hatred and intimidation to enter those disagreements. People can disagree without being hateful. People can disagree respectfully. May you understand that people may hurt your feelings. Sometimes they do that, and they deserve to be written off. Sometimes they don't. And you need to decide which one it is. Some don't deserve your time, your energy or your attention. Others, even if they do say some hurtful things. Are actually crying out for help. Be sure to really listen. And practice compassion. May you understand that you live in a country that is forever scarred by slavery. The effects and consequences of which are still pervasive and painful don't ever forget or misunderstand that we live history every day. And until there is an acknowledgement of that pain, this nation will never heal. May you understand that sometimes people who don't know you and will never have that privilege may root against you simply because you are a woman or 'cause you are Latina and black, or both. Do not cave in, you fight smarter, you fight harder, stronger, and strategically. May you understand there is more good than evil in this nation and in the world. Despite the signals, you may get that the quote unquote other is bad and something to be afraid of. May you understand that change takes time. But don't use that as an excuse to sit back and wait. You need to be bold, and you need to be brave. May you understand that when you experience any kind of pain? I want to help you feel it. And move through it to come out on the other side feeling seen and heard. May you see and hear others and learn to acknowledge others pain and experiences. May you be vulnerable to feel every emotion feeling, pleasant and unpleasant. May you understand that shame cannot survive, amidst empathy and understanding. You have the power to relieve another suffering by acknowledging and empathizing. May you take the time to express and acknowledge the things that bring you joy in life for which you are grateful. The more you do that. The more good you will see in everyday things. The more you believe that people are good. The more hopeful you will be of the future. May you understand that life doesn't always go the way you plan. Be ok with a little detour or a big one. Life is about navigating the detours and finding a different way to get to where you were always meant to go. Whether or not you plan to arrive at that final destination. May you be humble and understand that life is precious and fragile. You were born into incredibly lucky and fortunate circumstances. You will have an education, shoes on your feet running water, food to eat. Here, growing up in a generally safe neighborhood, you have the love of family surrounding you and supporting you. And you live in a country that promises opportunity. And that when it lives up to that promise, can deliver. Understand and appreciate your own privilege. May you understand that you are the future. Understand that working alongside those who are different from you. And at least trying to understand what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes. Is, so change can happen. It won't happen with television, and if you can ever see another side to things have patience and empathy. May you understand that as as a woman, you decide what to do with your body. No one decides for you. No one. Definitely not a man. But be sure you protect that right with your vote and your activism. May you understand that love is love. It doesn't know gender or color, love is love, is love. Don't let anyone tell you differently. May you understand how government works so you can change the things you don't like. In favor of change you believe in. May understand that we are a democracy, we have a constitution. You need to read it. Understand it. Let it give you solace in confidence, to know that it is, and should always be there to protect you. And others when those were threatened. May you give and receive love and bountiful and endless ways. May you experience what it's like to love courageously with your whole heart. May you understand you are your own person. You are unique and special. There is no one like you in the world. Remember to stay true to who you are and your values to never compromise your integrity and values for short gains or quick ones. Not even if you are a politician, you risk not being reelected. And if you stand up for something, you need to keep on standing. Although I may have dreams for you, the most important dreams are those you have for yourself. So, you have to go after all of them. You have to fight for them. It's OK to make mistakes if you trip up. I'll be there. I can't fix it. But I'll be there to assure you that you're not alone. That you're brave and fierce and that you’re unstoppable love me. 

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Thanks so much for listening. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss an episode. If you want my weekly doses of inspiration and motivation. Click the link and the show notes to subscribe. And if you've been asking yourself how to figure out that next step in your career. I've got a career clarity guide just for you. Check out the show notes for the link. Until next time, my friends keep digging deep and keep stepping into how incredibly powerful you are.